sauntereddownward | (no subject)

(no subject)

Crowley had been busy. He'd had a rather dastardly idea and with a bit of proper nudging of 'influencers' (whatever those were) and a quick trip to Reddit, he had a new viral sensation. It was sort of like the ice bucket challenge, except it didn't benefit any charities and instead involved putting hot sauce up the nose. It worried parents, caused a bit of harmless mayhem, and most of all...it tarnished the souls of all those who laughed at idiots' misfortunes.

Sure, it wasn't tempting a priest, but it was a laugh.

He sat in the autumn sun outside an interesting little tea shop. He had a steaming cup of a lapsang suchong blend that made the air smell like a campfire. A subtle scent under the cigarette smoke. Crowley was watching his mobile and chuckling along as another bloody idiot put hot sauce on a cotton tip and stuffed it up his nose and began to wail.

"People will do anything to be famous," he said to himself.

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"Do you have anything to drink?" he asked, taking the roommates into consideration for only a fraction of a second, then dismissing them.

"Yeah," the fae nodded, leading them over to the bar. "What would you like? I could open some wine if you like."

"Wine would be wonderful," he replied, thinking that Fin could probably afford something that he wouldn't have to convince to be a better vintage. "Classy party. Wine. Are you going to bring out a charcuterie and put on some smooth jazz?"

"I... No?" Fin replied, looking puzzled and pulling a bottle of something fizzy out of the wine fridge. "Grab two glasses, will you?" he asked, nodding at the cupboard.

He gave a nod and walked to the cupboard to select two glasses. Good glass, too. Not that cheap convenience glasses one got mass marketed.

"Too bad. I enjoy a bit of smooth jazz," he chuckled, clearly not being serious.

"I'm not sure I've ever listened to jazz," Fin confessed, popping the cork and pouring them each a large glass.

"You're not missing much. Jazz was better when they all did heroin," he remarked before taking a sip.

"Most things are better on heroin," Fin said absently, sipping his own wine and shrugging one shoulder.

"So if you're what you say you are- you must be really old, yeah?"

"Yes. Yes, I am," he replied. "I was around before creation. Took part in building some of it. Before there was time..."

Fin studied him, tilting his head slightly. "Before there was time? That seems impossible."

"Haven't you heard? Through God, all things are possible," he snorted derisively before drinking deep.

"I don't really believe in god," Fin said honestly. "I mean, um, no offense or anything."

"No offence taken, dear boy. As the years have unfurled, more and more people don't believe. It makes me wary. He's been known to drown the whole lot of you. Even the kids," Crowley noted.

"Seems like a shitty thing for a god to do," Fin noted, sipping his drink and then growing bold and moving closer to the other man. "Not really interested in bible study though."

"No, I don't imagine you are," Crowley replied. He looked the little fae up and down, then took another sip. "What piques your interest the most?"

"Right now? Mostly you," Fin replied, inching closer still. "What about you? Does anything pique your interest?"

"Aww-welll, not much, I'm afraid," he replied. "Maybe something stronger than wine. That would be a good start."

"Oh," Fin said, taking a step back. "Um, well, I can get you some scotch, if you like," he offered.

"Sorry, I just assumed you might be interested in something else."

Fin wasn't used to rejection, and he looked a bit confused before turning away and going to fetch a different bottle.

"Something else like what?" Crowley asked innocently, though he knew exactly. He just wanted to see Fin explain.

Fin wasn't the shy sort though, and he shrugged one shoulder as he set the bottle down.

"Sex. That's what most people want from me."

"I'm afraid I'm lacking a bit in that arena. Nothing to see downstairs, as it were."

Oh, he could make the Effort if he tried, he had just never seen a reason to try.

Fin looked startled, brows raising. "Oh. Right. ...I guess I just assumed we had the same anatomy since we both look the same. Sorry, I suppose that was sort of shit of me," he admitted.

"No, no. Quite alright," Crowley chuckled. "He saw no need to give us sexes. You know, way back then. If He needed more He just made more. Felt a bit bit bad for the first lot that had to have babies and such here on Earth. Nasty business. Pain and all. Though I do understand much of the getting pregnant is rather lovely."

"Yeah, I mean, I'm a fan," Fin shrugged. "Though I don't engage with people I could actually get pregnant very often. ...Just once, actually."

"I'd think it would be better that way. Stick to just the pleasure parts," he nodded, then took the new bottle from Fin, grabbed a fresh glass, and poured himself more than half. "What do you like about it so much? If I might ask."