sauntereddownward | (no subject)

(no subject)

Crowley had been busy. He'd had a rather dastardly idea and with a bit of proper nudging of 'influencers' (whatever those were) and a quick trip to Reddit, he had a new viral sensation. It was sort of like the ice bucket challenge, except it didn't benefit any charities and instead involved putting hot sauce up the nose. It worried parents, caused a bit of harmless mayhem, and most of all...it tarnished the souls of all those who laughed at idiots' misfortunes.

Sure, it wasn't tempting a priest, but it was a laugh.

He sat in the autumn sun outside an interesting little tea shop. He had a steaming cup of a lapsang suchong blend that made the air smell like a campfire. A subtle scent under the cigarette smoke. Crowley was watching his mobile and chuckling along as another bloody idiot put hot sauce on a cotton tip and stuffed it up his nose and began to wail.

"People will do anything to be famous," he said to himself.

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"All of them? Every single one? I don't believe it," Crowley said. "I've known too many humans. That's simply not possible."

"It's not something I'd fib about," Fin shrugged.

"Bah," the demon huffed. "I'm going to need to meet these saintly people you know. Take them down a peg."

"I wont be introducing you," Fin snorted, shaking his head.

"How very rude."

Crowley smirked a little and shook his head.

"A demon can try, though, can't he?"

"I suppose," Fin shrugged, chuckling softly.

"I'm very good at what I do, but for the past few decades I've relied on quantity over quality. Who has time to corrupt a priest over twenty years when you can smear a patina of awfulness across an entire country with minor inconveniences. They add up, you know. Little bits of wrath building up, poisoning everyone. I take Pride in my work."

"You really enjoy it?" Fin asked, looking slightly doubtful.

"Actually, I really do," he said. "I mean, like any job there's things I don't enjoy. Paperwork. Bureaucracy. My coworkers. The whole lot can't be trusted...which goes without saying since they're, you know, demons."

"Oh. ...just, um, you don't seem very, uh, evil. No offence," he added.

"How do you mean? Not evil?" he asked, wondering if the home office had been correct. That he'd gone native.

"Well, just, um- You've been nice enough to me," the fae pointed out with a small shrug. "Not that it's a bad thing, I mean, what you are shouldn't define you, yeah?"

"Wise words. Take them to heart, my boy," Crowley said, giving Fin a pointed look.

Fin looked away and shrugged one narrow shoulder.

"Sure," he said quietly.

Crowley watched him with an intense, unblinking gaze. The funny thing about Evil was that so much could be accomplished by simply telling uncomfortable Truths.

Unsure of what to say, the fae remained silent, looking down at the bed.

Crowley was quiet long enough for it to be exquisitely uncomfortable, then he took a breath and let it out through his nose.

"I could use another drink," he said, finally letting Fin stop twisting.

"Help yourself," the fae said, nodding at the bottle. "Or if you want something else, I could grab something different I suppose."

When he shrugged you could see his bones all the more clear, so pale and frail, a ghost of a man. It wasn't attractive, but on some level that was the point.

"What have you got to offer?" he asked. He looked Fin over, all the angles and shadows...Now, Crowley was a rather slender fellow, but nothing like what he saw. It was almost painful to look at Fin like this.

"Bit of everything. I get gifted bottles all the time," the fae shrugged.

"Do you have any Midori?" he asked, still looking Fin up and down. He felt...not exactly pity, but something like it. How terrible it must be to dislike oneself so much. The little fae was eating himself alive. Crowley wondered if anyone even noticed.

"Hmm, probably not. How about chocolate liquor or some sort of schnapps?" the fae offered, feeling Crowley's gaze but trying not to react.

"I do like chocolate," he mused. Then he very pointedly asked, "Do you eat chocolate? Or just drink it?"

Fin frowned at that, then rolled his eyes. "Whatever lecture you've got, I don't need it. I'll get the booze though, alright?"

"I'm not a professor. Nor am I a father. I don't lecture," the demon replied. He got up to saunter after Fin in search of a drink.