sauntereddownward | (no subject)

(no subject)

Crowley had been busy. He'd had a rather dastardly idea and with a bit of proper nudging of 'influencers' (whatever those were) and a quick trip to Reddit, he had a new viral sensation. It was sort of like the ice bucket challenge, except it didn't benefit any charities and instead involved putting hot sauce up the nose. It worried parents, caused a bit of harmless mayhem, and most of all...it tarnished the souls of all those who laughed at idiots' misfortunes.

Sure, it wasn't tempting a priest, but it was a laugh.

He sat in the autumn sun outside an interesting little tea shop. He had a steaming cup of a lapsang suchong blend that made the air smell like a campfire. A subtle scent under the cigarette smoke. Crowley was watching his mobile and chuckling along as another bloody idiot put hot sauce on a cotton tip and stuffed it up his nose and began to wail.

"People will do anything to be famous," he said to himself.

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"And I've arranged a late lunch tomorrow for you and Walter, that was we can kill two birds with one stone and you can have the evening free," a tall brunette said, passing Fin his phone back as he sat down at one of the outdoor tables.

"Thanks, Aria," Fin said, nodding and taking the offered phone. His new assistant wasn't the miracle worker Em had been, but she also wasn't fae and trying to kill his friends, so she had that going for her.

"Are you certain you don't need me for anything tonight?" Aria asked, prompting Fin to shake his head no. "Fine, but if the paps turn up, go inside," she insisted before waving her goodbye.

Fin was watching the man at a nearby table though, listening to the awful noises coming from the strangers's phone.

"Not to be a twat, but do you need the volume on for that?" he asked the man. "Would be nice to not hear people screech while I have my tea."

"No, not at all. But it's funnier with the sound on," he chuckled. He clicked the speaker icon and there was silence. "I take it you haven't been enjoying the hot sauce challenge?"

"I... Don't know what that is," Fin admitted, looking confused.

"Idiots on the internet, dear boy," he grinned. "Of which, I must say, there are a lot. Idiots and cats. So many cats."

"Oh, right. I don't really Facegram or whatever. Sometimes I tweet, I guess. My management team handles the rest," Fin admitted.

"My dear, you are missing out," Crowley chuckled. Then, without invitation, he brought his phone and his tea to Fin's table and sprawled in the chair opposite him.

"What do you do for fun if you don't stare at your phone mindlessly?" he asked.

"Read, mostly," Fin shrugged. "Listen to music... Go out. I dunno, just normal things."

How very pre-nine-eleven of you," Crowley chuckled. "What is it you like to read? My angel owns a bookshop. He specializes in very very old and exceptionally boring books."

Fin smiled at the way the man spoke of his partner, then shrugged. "Mostly scripts, I'm afraid. Most of them not very good."

"Do you read them entire, even if they're not good?" he asked, then picked up his cup. "That's a special sort of torment."

"I try and read enough to be fair, but no, if they're terrible they tend to get put aside and forgotten," Fin confessed.

"And what do you do with the good ones?" Crowley asked, pulling out his silver cigarette case and plucking one. And on a second thought he offered one to Fin as well.

"I audition, or accept if I've already been offered the role," Fin said, pausing and adding. "Uh, I don't think you can smoke here, mate."

"Let them arrest me," he replied, scornfully putting the cigarette between his lips and lifting his lighter, but then not lighting up.

"You're that actor. Have we met? I feel like we've met. Maybe not. Maybe I just saw a thing you were in. But it feels like...Hmm. Nevermind. I meet hundreds of people. Can't remember them all."

"Sorry, I'm not always good with faces," Fin confessed. "We may have though."

"It's no matter. You can call me Crowley," he said, extending his hand. In the other he still clutched his lighter and the cigarette remained unlit.

"Finlay," he replied, taking the offered hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Crowley seriously doubted that. Unless Finlay meant nice as in accurate rather than nice as in pleasant.

"Much the same," he replied. He plucked the cigarette from his mouth and laid it down so he could pick up his cup and take a sip.

"Who was that woman talking to you?" he asked.

"Oh, my new assistant," Fin replied. "I had to let my last assistant go after she, um, well went a bit mental, honestly. Aria's nice though, and she keeps me organized."

"She has nice legs," Crowley noted. "Important for standing, hmm? And she keeps you organized? You do know Google could do that for you."

Crowley thought a moment and decided it might be nicer to have a Aria to fill in Google rather than have to do it himself. Perhaps he should get a lackey.

"Google doesn't know which of my co-stars aren't on speaking terms, or not to leave me alone with a grabby executive," Fin shrugged. "Aria, on the other hand, does."

"Then Google clearly needs to up their algorithm game," he chuckled. Yes he definitely needed a lackey. "Grabby executives are more common than not. Or so I've heard. Despicable beings. So utterly human in the worst ways."

"Yeah, well, the whole industry is full of shitheads," Fin confessed. "This one is one of the worst though."

"The worst in what way?" Crowley asked. He was sure he already knew part of the answer. Not in a Damned way. No. Likely in an entirely Human way.

"You know what way," Fin replied simply, shaking his head. "I don't go to his office alone, and I've definitely never let him corner me at a party, let's just leave it at that."

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