Aziraphale

[sauntereddownward]

Crowley had been having a ball. He'd figured out a bit of hackery with some code and some infernal miracles and soon enough he had millions of people angry at social media for long load times, zero refresh rates, and suspensions that came and were lifted seemingly at random.

He was absolutely giddy as he walked into the bookshop. He spied the angel in his chair and went to the one unanimously agreed to be his and flopped down, legs splayed out long and wide.

"Isn't it the most beautiful day?" he said cheerfully.

Never a good sign.

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[theangelfell]

That was, indeed, never a good sign. Aziraphale carefully set is teacup on the table.

"Is it?" he asked cautiously.

[sauntereddownward]

"It truly is," he said with Pride. "Nothing beats a bad day's work."

[theangelfell]

Aziraphale couldn't help it. He winced.

"What, ah, what did you do?"

[sauntereddownward]

"I've been banning and unbanning people at random. Across several platforms. It's delicious how mad they are," he chuckled.

[theangelfell]

"I have no idea what any of that means," Aziraphale confessed, and wondered if that was for the best.

[sauntereddownward]

"Which is the best part," he replied, his smile turning sly. "Don't worry about it, Angel. I have a quota to make."

Or so he always said. Since Hell had been hands off he hadn't actually been assigned a job. At all.

[theangelfell]

"Well all right," said Aziraphale because, well, he didn't really want to know. "Does this mean you can take some time off then?"

[sauntereddownward]

"A holiday might be nice. People will be angry for days," he said. "Did you have an idea of what you'd like to do?"

[theangelfell]

"Well I suppose I can't help with whatever you've done, since I don't understand what that is." He paused. "You know who came into the shop today? Alcuin Delaunay."

[sauntereddownward]

"I was wondering when that would happen," he said. "Seems he's gotten out of the sex trade. For now."

[theangelfell]

"Seems so," said Aziraphale. "I must say, my dear, I do believe my side won this one. Once he got away from that dreadful man. The cannibal."

[sauntereddownward]

"My side clearly wins. Thou shalt not kill is right there in the Bi-"

He choked.

"The rule book. And you know his hands are filthy."

[theangelfell]

"Those weren't entirely your fault," said Aziraphale. "And besides, that was a while ago. And he was under that dreadful man's influence."

[sauntereddownward]

"A while ago?" Crowley scoffed. "There's no expiry date on murder, Aziraphale."

[theangelfell]

"I think murder is a strong word for what those were." Aziraphale wasn't sure why he was so insistent on defending the young man, perhaps his soul just seemed so promising and yet in such a precarious position.

[sauntereddownward]

"Don't split hairs. It's tedious," Crowley said, solid in his assessment that the whore was his.

[theangelfell]

"Well I think I'll just keep an eye on him," Aziraphale said.

Of course, now he regretted saying anything. He should have known Crowley would take an interest.

[sauntereddownward]

"Maybe I will too," he mused. Crowley paused, then smiled a most devious smile. "Want to make it a bit more interesting? Keeping an eye on this one?"

[theangelfell]

"Wouldn't you just rather let him be happy?" Aziraphale sighed.

[sauntereddownward]

"Wouldn't you just rather let him be happy??" Crowley mocked in a pinched voice. "Honestly, angel, it's like you just met me."

[theangelfell]

"You probably think he'd be happier if he just embraced the sin," Aziraphale mumbled.

[sauntereddownward]

"Of course he would. For now," he said.

Crowley really didn't have any interest in the lad's soul nor his eternal damnation. Mostly he was just being a pest to get under Aziraphale's skin.

[theangelfell]

"Well I think he's a lovely young man and will make good choices," Aziraphale said.

[sauntereddownward]

Crowley looked snide and a bit pinched as he wrinkled his nose.

"Don't tell me you're genuinely going to take him on. Ugh, angel, he's a lost cause."

[theangelfell]

"I disagree," Aziraphale said shortly. "I like him."